Saturday Short: Minimalist Challenge

Do Decluttering Backwards for 30 days, and get rid of everything you don’t use in that time period.

Married to a Minimalist: How to Talk to the Minimalist in Your Life

There are plenty of articles out there on how to deal with being a minimalist in a relationship with a non-minimalist.  Mostly, they focus around tolerance and small steps.

Since there are a lot more of "you" than of "us," I am going to take the opposite approach.  If you are in a relationship with a minimalist, here are some ways you can work to keep the peace:

I wish I really thought these old guys were talking about
minimalism.  I doubt they are.

• Understand that you don’t have to change anything.  You might feel like your minimalist is hinging their approval on the number of items you own.  If you are in a healthy relationship, your minimalist loves you whether or not you let go of any possessions.

• Thank your minimalist for their suggestions, and move on.  It’s okay to say, “That sounds like an interesting idea, but I’m not willing to do that right now.”  Often, your minimalist is trying to help and needs to know you have heard their suggestion, even if you don’t follow through with it.

• If your minimalist presses an issue, you can reply with, “Can we please drop the subject for now?  I would rather talk about something else.”  This is just good conversation skills and can be applied to any repetitive topic.

• Try to keep your things tidy.  Minimalism flare-ups often occur in two situations: something is missing or something is in the way.  If you can keep your possessions tidy, it will avoid these two situations.  Out of sight, out of mind.

• Let your minimalist know you aren’t relying on them to care for your stuff.  If you manage packing and moving your things, pitching in with laundry and cleaning, and keeping your things in good repair, it is reasonable to expect your minimalist to respect your desire to keep your things.

• Check your motives.  If you are resisting because your minimalist has an “I’m-right-and-you’re-wrong” attitude, try addressing the source of your resistance.  You can say something like, “I am open to letting go of some things, but I’m concerned that if I do, you will become over-zealous and insist on my doing more than I’m comfortable with.”  Be honest, but gentle.

• Remember that your minimalist wants the best for you.  Nagging is often a poor communication tactic for caring.  Ask your minimalist to explain how they think letting go of possessions will help you.  Most likely, their response will surprise you.

Home Design Planning

List your rooms/spaces.

Identify the primary purpose for each room.

Kitchen: Food storage/preparation

Dining Room: Playing on Computers

Living Room: Using the TV

Bathroom: Pooing (Seriously, you probably spend more time on the toilet than you do in the shower.)/ Cleaning myself

Office: Feeding pets

Bedroom: Sleeping/Storing Clothes

Garage: Storing Car & Tools

Back Yard: Storing trees

Front Yard: Admiring House

Guest Room: Making guests sleep

List anything else you are doing or would like to be doing in each room.

Kitchen: Nope

Dining Room: Eating/Entertaining

Living Room: Nope

Bathroom: Nope

Office: Playing on computers

Bedroom: Nope

Garage: Nope

Back Yard: Hanging Out

Front Yard: Nope

Guest Room: Nope

Reasons I don’t do what I want in the rooms I want to do them in:

Dining Room: Computers are in the way

Office: It smells like lizard and cat; no comfortable place to play on computers

Back Yard: Bugs

Goals:

Make Office not smell bad/be nice place to be on computers:

Add Screens to back porch.

Logic!

Challenge Issued

“I challenge Mr. Markey to follow the Ramsey plan to the letter for 12 months and present his financial statements before and after that time period.  Only then can he write from a position of experience rather than theory.“

Click Send.

It’s true, I get a little fired up when I see people knocking a system that I have personally benefitted from.  I am a proponent of caution, but outright argument against something one doesn’t understand really gets my goat.  Probably because I’ve done it so much in the past.

But the phrase “don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it” is becoming increasingly applicable in a day of rampant blogs and “opinion pieces.”  Yes, I admit that you’re reading those right now.

The last year has taught me a few things.

• I am not a natural saver.  Trust me, if there’s money in the bank and I feel like there’s a reason to spend it, I will spend it.

• Concession is not the same as agreement.  Just because someone goes along with your plan doesn’t mean they think it’s a good one.

• You can’t expect people to change.  I had to apologize to my husband for not insisting he cut up his last card.  I thought he’d get over debt once we were out of it.  A year later we are still living with Priceline.

• There is SO much less paperwork when buying a house with cash.

I’ve learned all these things because I experienced them.  Not because I listened to a 3-minute blip on the radio that made me believe them.

If it annoys you to see me talk about how nice it is to have no debt, or how it’s possible to buy a house with cash, or that sacrificing, while unpleasant at the time, is worthwhile, that’s fine.  You’re allowed to be annoyed.

But you can’t call me wrong until you’ve tried it for yourself.

The Method

I love the Konmari method.  No, I’ve never read the book.  I’ve also not gone through the method as she recommends.  I had already gone through a lot of it before I heard of her.  But that doesn’t mean I can’t love the results.  In fact, I just browse before and after photos of Konmari converts for fun.

Occasionally, I start to twitch.  I run across an article on, “How Konmari changed my closet,” but the only thing different is the folding style.

At its heart, Konmari is all about only keeping the few things that cause a real, emotional jolt of joy.  The misconception that Konmari is about how you fold your clothes is like saying Niagara Falls is a waterslide for people in barrels:  Totally missing it.

Marie Kondo has spent decades experimenting with tidying.  Literally decades.  This woman is not just a writer of some cute way to fold your undies.  She is a specialist.  She’s the Einstein of cleaning out clutter.  It took Einstein seven years to develop the theory of relativity.  So, in that respect, she’s more of an Einstein than Einstein is.

Mary Sue and Johnny look at her method, fold their clothes for once instead of throwing them into the closet, and go, “I did Konmari!”

Sigh.

Do it right or don’t call it the method.  Just don’t pretend you’re following someone’s process and try to do it your own way.  It ain’t the same thing.

I am not saying you shouldn’t celebrate making a positive change.  Fold your clothes for the first time?  Awesome!  I’m proud of you.  Saved up a bunch of money while paying on tens of thousands of dollars in debt, that’s pretty impressive.  It’s okay to celebrate those things.

Look here, people.  Methods like Konmari, The 7 Baby Steps, and The 100 Thing Challenge are developed over a long period of time.  Their progenitors who share their knowledge with you are not encouraging you to half-ass your life.  They have seen remarkable results through making remarkable change, and the way they did it is by following specific steps in a specific order.  Doing the baby steps backwards or folding your clothes aren’t going to result in the same outcome.  Likely, they won’t have any result at all.

The Question in Minimalism

I’ve commented before on the increasingly popular activity of ranting against minimalism.  One writer calls it oppressive, another unsustainable.  My knee-jerk reaction to these comments is admittedly negative, perhaps because I remember spending three days jamming possessions into boxes when, as a 11-year-old, my family was forced to move from a large house to a tiny apartment due to my parents’ divorce.

The relief of knowing I can lose all my possessions and easily replace them all is a boon to me.

Anti-minimalists – because they aren’t just not minimalists but are public critics of the lifestyle – seem to be struck by terror that the minimalists are coming to take all their things away and force them to live with a single pea on their plate.  As shown in this graphic.  The horror.  They resist the fact that there is no Minimalist Inquisition arriving, and even hoarders are unlikely to be strapped to the rack and tortured until they deny their faith and take up the cross of minimalism.

While minimalists may practice decluttering or frugality religiously, it is, for the long-term minimalist, because these activities produce a greater sense of peace, prosperity, and even joy.  Nowhere is it written that, once minimalist, no person may ever purchase an extra pair of socks or eat a steak, though the self-righteous editorialist may decry him as heretical.

That said, I was struck by half a sentence in the single-pea article that made me view minimalism a little differently: “There’s an arrogance to today’s minimalism that presumes it provides an answer rather than, as originally intended, a question”.  The article goes on to (arrogantly) provide “the question” for the reader.  But the idea that minimalism is a question rather than an answer captivated me.

When I began self-identifying as a minimalist (long after my minimalist tendencies had taken hold), I found it annoying when minimalists would disclaim items they owned.  “I still have a TV,” some would say, or, “We eat out,” or, “I have a collection of lipstick.”  It was as if, by owning these items, the person was less valuable as a minimalist.  It seemed to me they were stating the obvious.  After all, nobody is ignorant enough to believe that all minimalists own only a single chair, or no furniture, are they?  Only a friendless minimalist is likely to be content without seating for guests.

The assumption seems to be that, when a person tells you she is a minimalist, the minimalist is ordering you to get rid of everything and live as a monk.

In Japan, I lived without a bed for two years not because I was a proudly sacrificial minimalist; I had never heard of minimalism.  Rather, it is culturally normal in Japan to sleep on a futon, fold it up and put it away every morning, as one might make a bed.  The act of placing the sleeping materials tidily out of the way was refreshing.  I “made my bed” daily in Japan because it reduced visual clutter, even though I wasn’t aware of the concept yet, and provided more space to live my life in until bedtime.

Back in the US, Lizard Boy and I have a bed.  Not only do we have a bed, we have a Sleep Number bed.  And we love it.  And yes, I am still a minimalist, not a Buddhist monk.

Why do I have a $3,000 bed?  For one thing, my husband and I like to sleep together, but do not like the same firmness of mattress.  For another, we saved our cash to be able to buy one, so by definition we were able to afford one.  In a way, sharing an adjustable bed instead of buying two separate beds is an act of minimalism, but minimalism was not the driving force in our decision.

So, what is this big question that minimalism is supposed to represent?  As the style of minimalist art was created by men and women who wanted to provide a new way of looking at art, the lifestyle of minimalism is about providing a new way of looking at life.  Minimalism is embodied in the question, “Should this be important to me?”  Sometimes, the answer is yes, and we keep the relationship, hobby, memorabilia, or $3,000 bed to share with our spouse.  Other times, like fearful and arrogant attitudes, the answer is no, and we shed those unimportant aspects of our lives and move forward with a feeling of freedom.

What Christmas is All About

Saturday Short: Minimalist Giving

Give away something today, even if it is only a smile.

Common Sense

In exploring eco-friendly, minimalist, and Zen philosophies over the last couple years, I realized that they all hold a number of beliefs in common.  Minimalist, green, and mindful living are all different terms for similar ideas.  Here are some interchangeable concepts held dear by many movements toward simplicity:

1. Letting go of anything that doesn’t bring value to life.  Recognizing that possessions can be a burden as much as they can be a blessing has led many cultural groups to let go of excess possessions that are just weighing them down.
2. Awareness that money is a tool, not a commodity.  Our culture tends to forget that money isn’t worth the paper it is printed on.  Without a gold standard, money is only as valuable as we all agree it is.  Striving for money without purpose for how to use it is an empty pursuit.
3. Enrichment through experiences instead of purchases.  We’ve all heard the phrase, “You can’t take it with you.”  Even the pharaohs lost their possessions to grave robbers.  Whole industries are popping up with the focus of providing lifetime experiences to help families and friends bond and share memories that will last their whole lives.
4. Ideal-driven choices about spending, saving, and giving.  By defining ideals and standards, decisions are made before choices even appear.
5. Gratitude for what one has instead of consuming thoughtlessly.  Declutter, Spark Joy, Nirvana, all these ideas emphasize that you already have what you need, and by letting go of greed and wants, you can find peace in gratitude.
6. Relationships that are enriching instead of destructive.  Blood may be thicker than water, but not all relationships are healthy.  Letting go of relationships with people who are consistently destructive toward you is one of the best steps you can take to help yourself grow.

One Outfit to Rule Them All

You know those experiments that people try and other people go, “Ew, I could never do that”?  Well, I want to do one.  This has actually been brewing for a little while in my brain, and I know it makes me entirely weird, as a woman, to want to do this.

Earlier this year, I was on kickstarter.com when I came across the “Last Shirt on Earth” campaign. ( Why is it they always come out with cool stuff for guys first?)  But the idea of one shirt that you can wear forever was more than appealing to me.

While most people think they wear something different every day, the majority of Americans have a uniform.  For some people, it’s a T-shirt and jeans, for others, slacks and a button-up, and for others, a full suit.  I’m in the T-shirt and jeans category.  I have a friend who seems to wear a completely different, super-cute outfit every day, and while I admire that, I just know that’s not how I’m ever going to roll.  I am too busy playing Minecraft with Kiwi friends to spend that much time thinking about clothes.

If we wear the same type of clothing every day, why not just wear the same clothes?

“Eww, that’s so nasty!  What about germs and diseases and dirt and…”

I sit in an office all day.  Seriously.  All day.  Like, 10-hour days.  So how am I supposedly going to get dirty?  I shower in the morning, put on clean clothes, and change out of my "work clothes" in the evening, usually into some kind of lounge wear, unless I’m going somewhere with my husband, in which case I actually might dress up a little.  So why not wear the same jeans and T-shirt every day for a week?

Shocking fact #1: I wore the same shirt and sweater every day last week and nobody at work noticed.  Scary, right?

If you haven’t seen the phenomenal infographic showing Steve Jobs’ wardrobe progression from 1998 to 2011, try Googling ‘Steve Jobs wardrobe.’  As a guy who was worth over $10 Billion when he died, he had every right to wear the most expensive clothing, but chose to keep his focus free for his passion, instead of being concerned about how unique his daily outfit was.

I am not busting on people who make a concerted effort to wear a completely different outfit every day.  Jessi Arrington gave a great TED talk on shopping thrift stores and travelling with minimal items.  Here’s a girl who makes bolder fashion choices than 99% of the US population, and I admire her pursuing her passion.

It simply isn’t my passion.

Shocking fact #2: The idea of having only 6 items hanging in my closet makes me a little giddy.  In a happy way.

So here's the question: does the idea of wearing the same clothes every day freak you out?  Or does that seem like a welcome break from having to make a decision before your brain is functioning in the morning?

How We Should Live

Disclaimer: These are things I really like.  I think they are a better alternative to what they would replace.  I do not have science to back this up, just lots of stuff I’ve read and, in some cases, rubbed between my fingers.

We should live...

• On radiant heated floors – If you struggle with allergies, like Cat Girl, radiant heat is a super preventative way to avoid airborne allergens.  It also doesn’t dry out the air like forced air systems do.  Hurrah!  Did we mention no more cold-floor-on-feet?

• As minimalists – Less consumption, less distraction, more time for what matters.

• Debt-free – Having control over your money instead of pre-promising it to people who are not your friends is way more fun.  Trust me.

• On solar power – No pollution-producing power FTW.  Also, less noise pollution.  Boom.

• Clothed in bamboo – It’s super soft, it doesn’t require loads of pesticides, it requires less water than cotton, and is naturally antimicrobial, meaning you can wash it less and it will not stink.  Did I mention it’s super soft?

• Eating organic food – Sure, lots of people disagree with me on this one.  So maybe we should say some kinds of organic food.  But I certainly prefer the idea of not eating loads of chemicals in my veg.  Maybe it’s just me.

• With Kindness – The world lives by a “you show me yours and I’ll show you mine” philosophy on kindness.  Be the first one to smile.

• Generously – If you have surplus and see someone in need, pay it forward.

• Small, Slowly, Mindfully –Different words for the same concept.  When you don’t take things for granted, they always seem better.

10 Reasons to Never Have Debt

I was going to keep this list to 5, but the reasons just kept piling up.  So here they are:

1. You pay more for everything when you buy with debt.  Paying interest means buying that $10,000 car is actually $11,500 on a 6-year loan.  Think this doesn’t apply because you have a 0% interest card?  Keep reading.
2. With debt, you never own anything new.  Until it’s paid off, you don’t own it.  By the time you’ve paid it off, it’s 3 or 6 or 30 years old.
3. You can get a discount paying cash.  If you ask for a cash discount and they say no, say, “Alright, I’ll go to your competitor,” and see if they let you get to the door before changing their minds.  Dental offices, auto sellers, and even big box stores will agree to a cash discount, if you talk to the right person the right way.



This isn't me, but this is what it feels like not owing anyone any money.

4. You don’t worry about paying your bills.  Unless you’re house-poor or unemployed, it is almost impossible to live outside your means if you don’t borrow money.
5. You keep control of your biggest wealth-building tool: your income.  The average American household pays $2351.25 per in credit card interest.  If you invest that amount between the ages of 20 and 60, you will have over $1 million.
6. The credit card industry is not a service industry.  I lost my job in 2009 and immediately called all my creditors to ask them if they could lower my payments until I found a new job.  Every one of them told me to call back when I was 90 days past due.  After my first delinquency, my interest rates would have been raised to 30%.  Credit card companies don’t care about you, they just want your money.
7. You don’t need a credit card for emergencies.  A $10,000 emergency fund is enough to cover almost any one-time emergency.  Most medical insurance plans have a maximum annual payment amount of less than $10,000, and your auto insurance deductible is likely $500-$1,000.
8. Employers don’t look at your credit score.  This was an argument between Lizard Boy and myself for a long time.  I finally looked it up and it turns out that your prospective employer is prohibited by law from seeing your credit score.  All they can see is whether you have negative marks (missed payments) on your soft report.
9. Cash talks.  You might think you can’t get a mortgage or rent an apartment without a credit score, and while some zombie companies use a FICO score because they don’t understand what it is, you can rent a home or buy a house with some up-front down payment.  If you can show steady employment history and provide a security deposit, apartments will rent to you with a credit score of 0.  (To make sure, I called some expensive ones to find out.)   If you save up a reasonable down payment and show consistent work history over 2 years, you can buy a home.  I did before I was married.
10. There’s no better feeling than owing nothing to anyone.  I’ve borrowed from family, credit cards, banks, and the government.  Every one of those entities creates a weight of emotional and mental burden.  When your life belongs to you, the freedom of opportunity is infinite.

The Longest Day

I work a 50-hour a week job.

Don’t get all judgey on me.  And yes, I’m still an avowed/evolved minimalist.  (I should talk about how I discovered and warped into a minimalist some day.)

Weirdly, right now I consider that I get to work 50 hours a week.  If you had asked me a year ago, or even a couple months ago, if I would consider working 50 hours a week, I would have laughed in your face.  And probably made a real jerk of myself in the process.

But things change, and with no debt and my husband working evenings, a 50-hour work week seems to make a lot of sense.  Even if I got home two hours sooner, I wouldn’t get to see him until 8 or 9 at night, so the extra time is a blessing.

Here’s why  working 50 hours a week works for me right now:

1. 

   Overtime.  Duh.  Wouldn’t do it otherwise.  Extra money means I’m moving toward my goals faster.
2. The work.  I probably wouldn’t like it as much if I constantly had people demanding things of me.  In the job I’m currently working at, aka. temping, I am left fairly alone and trusted to get the things done for which I am responsible.
3. Minimal home responsibilities.  As a minimalist, I don’t have a ton of things to manage at home.  True, I should probably clean a little more than I do…”should.”  But if I don’t go home and do my laundry tonight it’s not the end of the world.  I’ll just wear the same thing tomorrow.
4. Learning time.  On my drive to and from work, as well as at work, I play podcasts that are uplifting and educational.  I turn my drive time from a nuisance to nutrition for my brain.
5. Focus.  I’m not working 50 hours a week because I am trying to pay off debt or improve a career.  I am working in a position that I’m enjoying and working extra to make more money for me, not debt.  This makes the work much more enjoyable than if I were focused on something arbitrary.

I know people who work 50, 60, or 70 hours and are just busy, not happy.  I don’t recommend that everyone work 50 hours a week. Happiness and a long work week are not mutually exclusive, though. When you are working because you want to and not because you have to, the whole story changes.

Besides, what else would I do?  Add another week to my monthly TV time?

Saturday Short: Minimalist Horror Story

Every month, I watch TV for a week: far less than most Americans.

A Month Of Clothes

There is a lot of talk around the minimalist community about clothes.  From what some would consider insanely tiny wardrobes to the philosophy that, if clothes is your passion, collect what you want; the only real consensus is that there isn’t one.

Many people struggle more with their closet than any other area of their house.  The truth is, balancing feeling confident in your clothes and keeping the list to a minimum can be tough.  So here are two lists, one for ladies and one for men, to give you an idea of a very real, and reasonable, way to have a new outfit for every day of the month without battling a bursting closet or feeling like you’re stuck in a rut.

Ladies’ Clothes List (48)
Outdoor Winter Coat Leather Jacket Casual Jacket/Hoodie Scarf Hat Gloves Warm Sweater Snow Boots	Swim & Sleep 2 Swimsuits Swim Cover-Up Summer Sleepwear Winter Sleepwear Slippers Bathrobe
Business (21 Outfits) 2 Skirts 2 Pants 5 Work-Appropriate Tops Blazer/Sweater Dress (Business Casual)	Casual/Weekends (10 Outfits) 1 Jeans 1 Shorts 2 Tank Tops 2 T-Shirts/Casual Tops Long-Sleeved Shirt
Loungewear Pair Yoga Pants/Comfortable Pants Loose Top	Shoes Running Shoes Casual Boots Sneakers/Casual Shoes Sandals/Flip-Flops Professional Flats Professional Heels Dress Shoes Work Shoes (mowing lawn, gardening, etc.)
Gym Pair Running Shorts Sweat-Wicking Top
Formal Cocktail Dress

Here’s a little explanation of what you’re seeing: if you are determined to wear a different outfit every day of the month, this gives you plenty of options.  With an average of 20 work days per month, four bottom pieces and five top pieces give you the perfect number to wear a different combination every day, and then start over again on the first of the next month.

Men’s Clothes List (45)
Outdoor Winter Coat Leather Jacket Casual Jacket/Hoodie Scarf Hat Gloves Warm Sweater Snow Boots	Swim & Sleep 2 Swimsuits Summer Sleepwear Winter Sleepwear Slippers/House Shoes Bathrobe
Business (20 Outfits) 3 Pants 5 Shirts (+5 Ties if Required) Suit Blazer/Sportcoat	Casual/Weekends (10 Outfits) 1 Jeans 1 Shorts 4 T-Shirts Long-Sleeved Shirt
Loungewear Comfortable Pants Comfortable Top	Shoes Formal Dress Shoes (Black) Casual Dress Shoes (Black) Casual Dress Shoes (Brown) Sneakers/Casual Shoes Running Shoes Sandals Boots (Work or Casual)
Gym Running Shorts Sweat-Wicking Shirt
Formal Tuxedo (Optional)

Granted, this list won’t be perfect for everyone.  If you are at the gym five days a week, you might want to beef up your workout wardrobe.  If you aren’t accustomed to formal events every month, you might forego the tuxedo and rent as required.  Ladies, it makes sense to have at least one cocktail dress, or LBD, in your closet for those unexpected events, and a business-casual dress works for a date or to mix up the work regime.

You may have been surprised to notice that there are only three more items in the ladies’ section than men’s.  Those, specifically, are the business-casual dress, a pair of casual high or low boots, and a swimsuit cover-up, each of which, obviously, could be foregone altogether.  We tend to think men’s and women’s wardrobes are extremely different but, realistically, we both have the same number of arms and legs, and wear very similar clothing pieces.

A note on swimsuits: you might think one is plenty, but if you are traveling, especially on vacation, it is far more comfortable to have a fresh swimsuit each morning, or even after meals, to hit the beach or the pool again.  While you could argue that one, or five, is the correct number, two is the basic necessity for being dry before you get into the water.